Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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