Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
did i just pee glitter
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
