i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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