We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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