just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
