just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
