DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Randomize
