New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
