i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
