If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
