So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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