If i come over, it means nothing
I just cut my nipple shaving
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize