You just made me feel so damn special
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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