she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
