The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
