I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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