on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
