Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
