Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
zippers are such a cool invention
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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