this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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