I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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