the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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