I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize