I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
