People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
