Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
