Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
