i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
