This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did i walk over a car last night?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
