ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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