He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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