I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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