so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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