i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize