FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
