idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize