your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
