Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
