the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
