I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
