I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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