Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Alive.
So much puke
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
