I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize