Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
