I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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