At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
