if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
