Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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