I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
