toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize