Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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