I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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