Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
