he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
