She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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