Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize