Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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