I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
