Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
