I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
