As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
