I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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