I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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