I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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